Back from my hiatus: Things have changed

And yes, I know, it's been almost forever. I might have even thought so, looking back at the last post in the blog: the pathetic examination timetable of mine for last semester. In any case, I have come a long way since then, and you may be delighted to know that this involves a mountain of stories to share with everyone :)

All I can say is for now, is to watch this blog. I promise to update the blog over the next few months under the new title. Ah, which brings me to a reason why I decided to dispose of the simple, yet personalised Densterified (along with the pitch black/orange theme) into A Short Stroll through the Park (along with a serene green shade theme). It's all about moving on from who I was in the past, a direct, analytical person who sees things as black or white, who believes in strong visual representation to complement strongly worded content. About establishing a contrast between the theme of the blog, in the background, and occasionally the theme of the message.

I have moved on since then. My latest theme reflects the mellowing of my thoughts, of keeping blogging to a relaxed atmosphere, where experiences shared are ones that makes us smile, reflect, and think back upon moments that bring us delight. About taking a step back from the hustle and bustle of civilisation, and indulging ourselves in purely theoretical (or imaginery, depending on your background) issues and experiences that one no doubt wouldn't be floating around in one's head for fear of a rollicking by others.

In any case though, if you are a new reader, or returning to my blog, allow me to welcome you back. I hope you enjoy your stay *grin*. :)

Denster

Exam Timetable for S1 2008 - Here We Go!

12th June 2008 : Reactor Engineering

16th June 2008 : Heat and Mass Transport Processes 1

20th June 2008 : Chemical Engineering Management

24th June 2008 : Bioprocess Engineering

I'll be returning on the 2nd of July. :)

What is bloody wrong with saying "No"?

Sometimes the attitude of people around me leaves very much to be desired. I think we all should come to a consensus in that should people feel that they are threatened by a question, either because it affects their immediate well-being, then they should just say "no". By continuing with status quo, it misleads the other party into making ill-judgments, apart from also making them look manipulative to people. I do not mean this in a relationship way, nor do I mean this in a take advantage of friend way. It has everything to do with simple academics.

Yes, the Kiasu Syndrome has resurfaced, though, it's not like it ever disappeared, based on elementary observation. I am pretty much irritated by the fact that some can (with glee even, wtf) pass on "fake information", or misleading information about what is coming out in the examinations (or even on concepts in lectures) intentionally, when they want to "hide the truth". It sometimes puzzles me - if they want to hide things so much, then why not say "No"? Is it because they want to keep friends, but yet silently poison these very friends they want to keep? Now how ethical is that?

Being a Buddhist, I admit that there are many, of other faiths, or of no faiths, who are even better Buddhists than me. Yes, indeed there are many whose sense of ethics are directed towards a utilitarian approach ("Let's all pass this together guys!"). My advice to these people, in earnest is to look at themselves and think about what they are doing, in the big picture. Not only when exposed it makes them look like bloody dirty scoundrels, but by teaching the wrong concept, they are dooming their friends for long. After all, we as humans operate on a right/wrong basis - so as long as no one points out the mistake that this poor person picked up unwittingly, the person will never ever know. Think about that.

In my opinion, politics does not belong to education. Though if that is how people want to play it, then by all means, they should go ahead. Just don't make it so bloody obvious. Thanks, and have a nice day :-)

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Yes, before you begin reading this post, kindly note that this will be a rant. And although a comparatively "non-at your face" kinda rant, please be warned :-)

The week ended miserably: on the 22nd, which was on the very day I "future-posted" the earlier post (whoopee, go figure), I ended up late for Bioprocess Engineering. There was a guest speaker coming in - yeah, sure, some of you would be cbf (can't be f**ked) to attend such a lecture, but for me, "why not?" is more the attitude I had in mind. Okay, so I rushed to university, to get a good seat, and upon reaching the lecture theatre (just five minutes late), and preparing for the lecture, I slipped my hand into my jacket pocket. A cold chill shot up my spine. I then fumbled around with all my pockets, hoping to get out the one thing I realised then was not there.

My phone.

WTF!?

I started to panick, but amazingly managed to keep a poker face. For some reason (either because (a) they are amazingly ignorant, (b) they are people who don't give a damn about me, (c) I am such a good poker player), my friends didn't notice the tsunami of feelings going through me. Where the hell is my phone?! Did I leave it at home. A bad feeling went through me - I knew it wasn't at home. I rushed out of the lecture theatre.

Following the trail back to my home, where I hoped - no - I prayed - that it would be in, I ran. Ran knowing that even if a stranger saw my phone, and picked it up, then it would be the end. Memories of people discussing about the honesty of people around us came rushing into my mind - and oh God this was a brand new W910i. I continued rushing all the way back, the familiar sight of the university fast fading and being replaced with Elizabeth St (Royal Parade). I continued the frenzied rush, until I got to this dangerous crossing, which was on Flemington Road. Then I noticed something... on the ground, in the middle of the road.

It was red, broken, and there was stuff all around it. I was fking shocked. Without hesitation, I rushed across and scooped it up and made a dash to the other side. Come to think of it if there were cars coming, I might have ended up next to it on the road. Anyway, the damage was done. It was scarred really badly; I don't think I should post the pictures up. I barely had any ... mood to go for the following tutorials, but ah heck, as they were the last ones of the semester, I just went for them.

The next day, I went to the 3 service center on St Kilda Road. Was told that the early estimate of repair would stand around 300 dollars. I was stupefied - 300 is a bloody lot of money! [Added: When I got the accurate quote later, it was reduced to 200, but it's still a bloody lot of money, anyways >_>].

Moral of the story: Fken wear jackets with deep pockets. On that bloody day I wore my jeans (which had super tight pockets that I could barely use, and a jumper with mini pockets as well - I suppose that was a disaster waiting to happen - but why the hell with my phone *ugh*). In any case, perhaps the idea of keeping stuff in my bag (as how some of my friends would keep all their ... stuff, ranging from pocket diaries to perfume), wouldn't be a bad idea too.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't a SERIES of unfortunate events, but hey, I already feel like rolled over by a truck. (Perhaps not a good comparison given what happened)

Give me some space >_>

Denny

What Your Name Means

Yes, this is technically not a post - however, I'm feeling extremely bored. Upon checking out Mei Ling's new blog (click here to access it), I found a "What Your Name Means" thingy - which was interesting (I used to play a lot with these on Tickle, etc in the past during secondary school when I should have been doing IT work *shhh*).

Anyway, here are my results. Behold! :P

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are 17 letters in your name.
Those 17 letters total to 90
There are 6 vowels and 11 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:

Shakespearean	Male	'King Henry the Eighth' Sir Anthony Denny.
Norse	Male	From Denmark.
Greek	Male	Variant of Dennis: Follower of Dionysius (Greek god of wine).
English	Male	Variant of Dionysius. Dionysius is the mythological Greek god of wine responsible for growth of the vines and the originator of winemaking: (equivalent to the Roman god Bacchus.).

Your number is: 9

The characteristics of #9 are: Humanitarian, giving nature, selflessness, obligations, creative expression.

The expression or destiny for #9:
The expression that you exhibit is represented bythe number 9. Your talents center in humanistic interests and approaches. You like to help others as you were intended to be the 'big brother or big sister' type. You operate best when you follow your feelings and sense of compassion, and allow yourself to be sensitive to the needs of others. You work well with people, and have the potential to inspire. This suggests that you could successfully teach or counsel. Creative ability, imagination and artistic talent (often latent) of the highest order are present in this expression. It's possible that you're not using or developing all of these capabilities at this time. Some of your talents may have been used at an earlier time in your life, and some may still be latent. Be aware of your capabilities, so that you can make use of them at appropriate times.

If you are able to achieve the potential of your natural expression in this life, you are capable of much human understanding and have a lot to give to others. Your personal ambitions are likely to be maintained in a very positive perspective, never losing sight of an interest in people, and a sympathetic, tolerant, broad-minded and compassionate point of view. You are quite idealistic, and disappointed at the lack of perfection in the world. You have a strong awareness of your own feeling as well as those of others. Friendships, affection, and love are extremely important.

Undeveloped or ignored, the negative side of the 9 expression can be very selfish and self-centered. If you do not actively involve yourself with work that benefits others, you may tend to express just the opposite characteristics. It is your role to be very involved with other people and their needs, but it may be difficult for you achieve this role. Aloofness, lack of involvement, and a lack of sensitivity mark the low road of this expression.

Your Soul Urge number is: 8

A Soul Urge number of 8 means:
With an 8 soul urge, you have a natural flair for big business and the challenges imposed by the commercial world. Power, status and success are very important to you. You have strong urges to supervise, organize and lead. Material desires are also very pronounced. You have good executive abilities, and with these, confidence, energy and ambition.

Your mind is analytical and judgment sound; you're a good judge of material values and also human character. Self-controlled, you rarely let emotions cloud judgment. You are somewhat of an organizer at heart, and you like to keep those beneath you organized and on a proper track. This is a personality that wants to lead, not follow. You want to be known for your planning ability and solid judgment.

The negative aspects of the 8 soul urge are the often dominating and exacting attitude. You may have a tendency to be very rigid, sometimes stubborn.

Your Inner Dream number is: 1

An Inner Dream number of 1 means:
You dream of being a leader and one who is in charge. You want to be known for your courage, daring, and original ideas. You seek unconquered heights. People may get a first impression that you are very aggressive and sure of yourself.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you wanna try it, you can do it here.

Happy Wesak Day

First of all, I'd like to wish a happy Wesak Day to all my fellow Buddhists and friends around. How did the day go? I certainly hope that your day was a day of change for the better, for that was how I thought I should do things today. Wesak strengthened my resolve to help others (which include myself) and practice a more consciously diligent approach to life and its many challenges. Though it may seem like just another day to many, the day had many of its challenges, and what ifs, that on ordinary days would make me hopping mad, but I believe that this approach is not the right one, because there is simply no benefit from jumping around like a mad hatter over every "injustice" suffered. In fact its much better to overlook these and focus on improving.

I dislike detailing what I did to help my friends, or the small gestures in the day, but whatever it is, the afternoon's turn of events left me slightly disappointed. The turn of events in the evening, as I prepared to return, caught me unawares as it started raining. When I finally got back from uni, I was not only wet, but I was tired as well; I only could do a quick change before I slumped in bed. In fact, I might have just forgotten to have dinner, had my housemate not called me for Dota, which I declined, in preference to having a meal. Strangely today I had the appetite for 2 Korean noodle packs (and trust me, they aren't your typical Maggi Mee portions, well, perhaps they are 3 MM portions but that's not the point) - and it made me feel much better.

Even until 2 am today, I still feel energised to read up notes on Heat and Mass (after speaking to Saiful and Chris today I felt even more fired up to work on my weaknesses throughout the semester).

But, enough about my day. Change is not measured in days, it is measured over a much larger timescale. I'll last this change. That I promise myself.

I hope you had a great day today :)

Happy Wesak Day! :D

Denny

Time to get life back on track

"You can learn more about a guy just by seeing his room, than spending hours and hours out chatting"

A statement that was mentioned to me by a friend of mine from the past, with her trademark warm smile, yet cold, unforgiving tone. If there was a person who could lure you into the safety of a comforting environment, then suddenly twist an ice cold dagger into your back, slowly, and watch you die, well, she probably would be the first person I'll think of who can do that. Perhaps it was a bonus that I was one to be on her good side... but enough about her :P

The weekend was wasted on non-stop Dota, procrastination, and watching the FA Cup final (and the best part was that I was too tired to watch despite the match being broadcasted early - I nearly missed the end as I fell asleep around the 70th minute lol, but woke up for the final 5 minutes). Waking up and going back to my room, I was so shocked at the condition of my room - it looked like a tsunami came, smashed my room up, and left by the back door (so that no one would know, and it would look like a bloody conspiracy if I ever suggested that such a thing happened). It was just shocking. It was then I thought of that quote. And then I nearly fainted.

I'm still cleaning my room. Studies will... have to come after. (v_v)

Denster

Situation in Burma

I read with great disappointment the recent announcement by the Burmese (or Myanmar, whichever you'd like) junta that aid sent by foreign countries would be under tight scrutiny (or may not even be passed in), amid the natural calamities that have befallen the country. The death toll has been rising over the past few days over conservative sources (i.e. the state channels) and more scarily over foreign news websites. I believe that some aid organizations have been allowed in, although with limited reach, such as the Red Cross, among others. Although from the Burmese junta's point of view, they have to face two evils in the sense that: (1) The 'Westerners' that help will embolden the people to once again attempt to overthrow them (keep in mind last September they already bloodily crushed an uprising led by monk), (2) They face a population of hungry, sick and dead people, and outraged international communities. I suppose they have made their choice, which is sickening in my opinion.

Coming off the back of a lecture on ethics on Friday, I can't say that I am on the same wavelength as these people at all. In fact, I view their actions as severely unethical, as without the people of the country there wouldn't be much left. Then again though, they did crush the Suu Kyi government in the past (elected by the people), so there isn't much for me to say there in that respect.

It makes us think about Malaysia. While politicians like to mention the bad points of our neighbors (e.g. "We are more balanced compared to Indonesia!", "Look, our country is more peaceful compared to Myanmar!", "Our cost of living is cheaper than in Singapore!") and so on, I believe it's about how we live. I don't bloody care if the country is worse than Seychelles, but if the living style gives opportunity to those who work for it, gives a comfortable environment for people to raise their families and live, etc, then that is enough. This reality is slowly being consumed by the rising prices of commodities back home - I wonder how long before either the People, or the Government break. It's always going to be one or the other, in Malaysia at the moment.

Updates on Life! =)

Hey people! I realise I haven't been blogging much lately. Let's see... what's happened since I last went on hiatus. :P

Management is finally over! What... you already heard that from me? Eh! Not enough - let me say it again... Management is finally over!!! :D - I was so relieved that 'easily the mother of all assignments' this semester has finally been slain. Wahaha *Dota-style*

Denster has pawned [Mgt]Assignment's head for 200 gold.

And we all thought that I was crazy before - I am now averaging 2 games plus per night. It seems to get more to me - to lose stress, as the examinations loom. Naturally I have met a lot of people of fellow students from university who play too, and it's really interesting to chat with them - most of us started playing Dota back in what... 2003/4? Good memories, good memories. :) - what other game can screw up a Standard Two paper, where the opposite of professional (according to the marking scheme the answer was : careless, etetc) became "noob"? Brilliant stuff.

Anyway, moving on, I went to a house party organized by Nicholas, a friend of mine back from the secondary days. I met a lot of people there (some familiar faces, some new ones), most were really friendly people and we all had a great time. I felt I didn't drink much, despite the amount put in (perhaps those which I picked were ... dilute haha), though for one thing the dinner before (which was pot luck) had great garlic prawns. (I think those were sapued before some people even came - that was how good everyone found it!). It was particularly entertaining too, when we were looking through this book of top ten records (sorta like a Guinness Book of Records - though I'm not sure if it was exactly that or not) - and we were scrolling through categories like animals, insects, human feats etc, and then we stopped at names. The most common names was interesting - cause it was sorted by country, and then amazingly there was this list of most common endearments used by men in the US.

Guess what won? :P Hehehe... all I can say is that I'm impressed that "Pumpkin" was sixth. "Aww my dearrrr pumpkines" :P Ahahaha...

Recently there has been a spate of guest lecturers for Management - and I found some interesting. In fact, I found doing HAZOP (Hazard and Operatability Studies) really interesting - cause the whole thing was basically to troubleshoot any potential problems that may come out from a piece of equipment, how they can happen, and how to prevent. It was really fun spending time in my tutorial thinking about these, I only wish the tutorial was longer in many senses. I enjoy the discussion part of engineering - because in engineering it is all too common to see only calculations here and there, up and down, round and round (i.e. iterative). The argument / discussion element is lost to us... and I find that to be pretty sad because we can only start justifying stuff when we consider money in the equation. Money again?!

There is this Indo food that I really love, and that is this soya bean delicacy known as tempe. While I have been hearing that frequently used online in bloggers to slam Khir Toyo, ex-Menteri Besar of Selangor, I have been enjoying the taste of tempe with sambal. Good stuff! :D - I always found Indonesia, Thailand and Malaysia to have the best foods ever - I mean, most flavors you will taste, will come from either a combination or specifically one of the many cuisines that have evolved in those lands. It does come pretty close to trumping sotong with Thai Chilli Sauce (squid calamari deep fried with garlic served with sweet chilli sauce). That owns! :D

Either way, I am coming back at the end of June! That's right :P Block out your Julys, because I am returning back to Malaysia. This would probably mean yum chas, shopping, and perhaps I'll even learn how to drive (because inactiveness makes you noob). :P

I shall update more soon.

Take care! :D

Always

Click here for the Youtube music vid!

Always - Bon Jovi

This romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up

It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up

Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine
To say to you till the end of time

Yeah, I will love you baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always

If you told me to cry for you
I could
If you told me to die for you
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you

Well, there ain't no luck
In these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

[ www.azlyrics.com ]

Always :)

Really Tired

"I dunno why this happened. Maybe it's my weakness in due part, maybe it's just me expressing my human part, or maybe I might just be in one of my vulnerable times. Either way, I feel rotten, like a decaying plant being eaten alive by parasitic complexes, while I watched as you blossomed among the beautiful rays of sunlight in an everlasting spring. It was admittedly tough to bear, for like a man stranded in a desert for days, longing for water, I longed for you.

Perhaps words don't justify how I feel right now, perhaps I am seeing this situation in the wrong light, but I feel that just maybe, that it might ultimately be not worth it to continue with the way things are going. I loathe being defeatist, but to move on I do realise that we all have to cut our losses and make way for a better future ahead of us.

Good luck with life. And have fun."

I read this letter only a few weeks ago, on an unnamed forum, and boy did that feel strange. I sure hope that one day I wouldn't have to write such a letter, but then again, I do realise that the time will come when things don't work out, or don't work out better than they should. Still though, in my opinion we should do our best for what we believe in, and while I believe in what I fight for I will stay positive and dispel the negative elements. It will be more about what can be done, rather than 'who failed?'.

We will see. We will definitely see...

It Goes Down the Wire

Probably the second worst scenario possible has occurred - our group will have to finish the Management assignment tomorrow. Given that the due time is 2pm tomorrow, that would mean that a lot of clean up, checks, confirming stuff etc will have to be done within the time constraints set. Tough luck, but I suppose that's what we have to do... I'm really pleased with the project though, we have incorporated most of the stuff that we wanted to incorporate - it's now a matter of a familiar thing to most of us (at least while doing subjects like History and Moral Studies back home) - bullshitting! :D

I apologise to those looking for me online - I've got your emails - will get back to you guys as soon as humanly possible. :/

(I just got home btw, from University. Probably the longest amount of time ever spent in university by yours truly - from 9am to 2pm, then 330pm to 1am. Insane!!)

Exam Timetable

I'm really happy with this semester's timetable. I have... never seen anything like it - the spacings between exams are good, and the start date is good as well. I hope this is a good omen when it comes to the inevitable examinations. The first thing I thought of when I saw the timetable was "stock market increase!" :P

It came to me...

This idea... like a panacea to all diseases. Finally, I have newfound confidence in my management assignment. Hell yeah!

:D